I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize