i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
