If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
