How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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