He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm really into asian looking animals
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize