Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
