I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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