He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize