Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
