Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
