We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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