i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
