Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
that's an acceptable place to lick
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
