Fuck appropriateness.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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