Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
