It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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