I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize