He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We don't watch enough power rangers
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
