First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
