Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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