if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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