You can't motorboat a personality
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
