i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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