I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
