there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
