Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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