3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
they need to just BURY HIM!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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