Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
