I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
