Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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