im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
