i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
