please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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