is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
are you so shy because you have an std?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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