So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
