he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I didn't notice because vodka
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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