I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
