The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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