I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
