I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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