She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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