The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
