I wannas sexs uuuuu
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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