Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
worst night to have a conscience
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
