yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
