There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
