Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
