She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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