I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
