i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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