dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
