we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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