it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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