Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
