im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
