I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
