dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
