sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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